Score of Baude Cordier's chanson "Belle, bonne, sage," from The Chantilly Manuscript, Musée Condé 564. The manuscript is one of the classic examples of ars subtilior, which requires red notes, or "coloration" to indicate changes in note lengths from their normally written values. This chanson, a dedicatory piece on the love of a lady and a lord written in the shape of a heart, opens the corpus. Note the heart of notes within the larger heart. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
I write about my travel adventures, my creative experiments , my ideas and techniques in textile art.
But it hasn't always been that way.
for 40 years, I had a large family to take care of and a business to run.
Life rolled on at an alarming pace. The adventures were many and varied in those days, mostly good, sometimes frightening and the deaths of our children flung us into deep despair.
But from an early age I was looking to find 'me' not the daughter my Mum wanted me to be or the wife and Mother that I was in reality… I was so busy I didn't have too much time to think about my mojo, but as life slowed a little, there it was raising its ugly head again…
"Who am I to be now"
It funny isn't it. Occasionally there is a comment made that sticks wih us for life.
An office girl, an employee of a business friend once told me she wondered how on earth I could stay home and just be a 'Housewife' "How revolting" she said, with her nose in the air.
I was too shy in those days to say, "Honey, I'm a lady in waiting" but it hurt…. was I only going to be a "housewife" all my life.?
Her hurtful comments have remained with me… I wonder what she's doing now?
Is she an Author, and artist, a Teacher?…. I wonder.
I found my mojo through hard work and experience. My quilting style belongs to me and me alone. What I create is from my heart and head and I don't need to please anyone anymore.
I don't have to feel obliged to my tutors to follow thier rules.
I don't need a life with more balance.
I am my own employer and that allows me the freedom to do what I want.
Despite that I am once again, considering my mojo. How do I manage everything, family, work, creativity and considering what I need to achieve in the next few years so I've made a momentous decision.
My decision gives me a sense of relief, in the knowledge that I have a plan for the next 5 years and as I sit here and write I'm about as satisfied as it gets.
So if you're looking for your mojo, take a walk, listen to classical music, weigh it all up and take time for yourself.
5 Comments Add yours
ty pam i needed to read that today…peg in ks
I took time off from my career to raise my daughters. They have turned into exceptional young women, but more importantly, they are exceptional Mothers. Me? I found my joy in antique quilts and linens and am happily humming along now. I have NO regrets 🙂
Thank you Pam for your blog!
The most exceptional job I have done is to be a mother. I took time off work to be with my children when they were little and it was the most rewarding and enjoyable time of my life. I feel sorry for those women who do not experience the joy of spending precious hours creating, discovering and just being with their own children.
Never denigrate the importance of the time you spend with your children, it enables them to develop to their fullest potential through the time, energy and attention given by that special parent/s.
Pam what a wonderful piece of reading! I am at that very stage myself, both of my children are now at school, we have moved back home to Adelaide and now I have to work out what I want to do with my life. Its a tough decision and you are so correct in saying that you just don’t have time to think while you are so busy with young kiddies. I am about to go in search of my mojo! Thanks Pam for being so honest with your feelings, it makes me feel great to know that you were in the same position that I am at the moment. I have loved every bit of being at home with my children, but now its time to think about me for a little bit.
Pam, all your life experiences have contributed to the person, artist, and teacher you are today, even the bad experiences you wished never happened. I, for one, feel that the end product is fantastic and i wouldn’t have you change one thing.