How do you find your Mojo?
I write about my travel adventures, my creative experiments, my ideas and techniques in textile art.
But it hasn’t always been that way. For 40 years, I had a large family to take care of and a business to run. Life rolled on at an alarming pace. The adventures were many and varied in those days, mostly good, sometimes frightening and the deaths of our children flung us into deep despair.
But from an early age I was looking to find ‘me’ not the daughter my Mum wanted me to be or the wife and Mother that I was in reality. I was so busy I didn’t have too much time to think about my mojo, but as life slowed a little, there it was raising its ugly head again.
“Who am I to be now”
It funny isn’t it. Occasionally there is a comment made that sticks with us for life.
An office girl, an employee of a business friend once told me she wondered how on earth I could stay home and just be a ‘Housewife’ “How revolting” she said, with her nose in the air. I was too shy in those days to say, “Honey, I’m a lady in waiting” but it hurt…. was I only going to be a “housewife” all my life.?
Her hurtful comments have remained with me. I wonder what she’s doing now? Is she an Author, and artist, a Teacher? I wonder.
I also had a similar situation when I was a new quilter. I saved for a long time to pay for a lesson with a visiting American Teacher, her class was very expensive even in those days. The day arrived and I was excited. She instructed us to put our fabrics out on the table. I laid mine out carefully, I had confidence in my selection, I had been a fashion designer for 15 years.
She walked along the line of tables and with her pointing finger she criticised each persons fabric. When she got to me, her pointing finger flew in the air and my fabric fell to the floor in a finger swoop. She looked at me intently. “You have no color sense, you will never make a quilter”
Rather than be upset, I was angry, I knew she was wrong and it made me determined to become a quilter.
Which I did.
The funny, (and maybe payback part of the story) is that I was giving a lunch time lecture once and it was huge, almost 1000 people. Next door was said teacher, I popped my head in and she only had 40 people to her lecture. She doesn’t know me, or even remember what she said, but I will never forget her comments and actions.
I found my mojo through hard work and experience. My quilting style belongs to me and me alone. What I create is from my heart and head. My brain is my tool, my heart is my intuition, and my hands do my bidding. However, that doesn’t mean I won’t have a slip up on occasions. That doesn’t mean that I don’t have doubts or worries. I do fail sometimes. But I have a plan in place for the next 5 years I have wonderful support and employing Miss Roz as my PA was one of the best decisions I made.
I found that by sharing my enjoyment of art, photography and textiles without expectations is my gift to my friends.