How do you find your Mojo?
I write about my travel adventures, my creative experiments, my ideas and techniques in textile art.
But it hasn’t always been that way. For 40 years, I had a large family to take care of and a business to run. Life rolled on at an alarming pace. The adventures were many and varied in those days, mostly good, sometimes frightening and the deaths of our children flung us into deep despair.
But from an early age I was looking to find ‘me’ not the daughter my Mum wanted me to be or the wife and Mother that I was in reality. I was so busy I didn’t have too much time to think about my mojo, but as life slowed a little, there it was raising its ugly head again.
“Who am I to be now”
It funny isn’t it. Occasionally there is a comment made that sticks with us for life.
An office girl, an employee of a business friend once told me she wondered how on earth I could stay home and just be a ‘Housewife’ “How revolting” she said, with her nose in the air. I was too shy in those days to say, “Honey, I’m a lady in waiting” but it hurt…. was I only going to be a “housewife” all my life.?
Her hurtful comments have remained with me. I wonder what she’s doing now? Is she an Author, and artist, a Teacher? I wonder.
I also had a similar situation when I was a new quilter. I saved for a long time to pay for a lesson with a visiting American Teacher, her class was very expensive even in those days. The day arrived and I was excited. She instructed us to put our fabrics out on the table. I laid mine out carefully, I had confidence in my selection, I had been a fashion designer for 15 years.
She walked along the line of tables and with her pointing finger she criticised each persons fabric. When she got to me, her pointing finger flew in the air and my fabric fell to the floor in a finger swoop. She looked at me intently. “You have no color sense, you will never make a quilter”
Rather than be upset, I was angry, I knew she was wrong and it made me determined to become a quilter.
Which I did.
The funny, (and maybe payback part of the story) is that I was giving a lunch time lecture once and it was huge, almost 1000 people. Next door was said teacher, I popped my head in and she only had 40 people to her lecture. She doesn’t know me, or even remember what she said, but I will never forget her comments and actions.
I found my mojo through hard work and experience. My quilting style belongs to me and me alone. What I create is from my heart and head. My brain is my tool, my heart is my intuition, and my hands do my bidding. However, that doesn’t mean I won’t have a slip up on occasions. That doesn’t mean that I don’t have doubts or worries. I do fail sometimes. But I have a plan in place for the next 5 years I have wonderful support and employing Miss Roz as my PA was one of the best decisions I made.
I found that by sharing my enjoyment of art, photography and textiles without expectations is my gift to my friends.
Glad you didn’t listen to that teacher! I love your style! I love your classes because you see things a little differently. Hopefully a little of your style will rub off on me.
Wonderfully said! You are very fortunate to have the support of your family while you continue your mojo journey. And what a great example you are setting for your grandies that a person can continue to grow and learn and try new things their entire life. Thank you for sharing yours with all of us.
Good for you Pam. I’m not a quilter – my sister introduced me to you – but you so inspire me with all you do. I have to keep reminding myself to just keep doing what I love – which happens to be photography – and ignore anything anyone says that is not supportive.
Hi Pam
I did a class with you in Taupo, i gave you a bag of Russian Fudge my mum made. Anyway i am just thankful that you are not like that teacher you commented on. I found your class fun and informative and you were so helpful and no i haven’t finished the lady but it is there when i have the time. Would gladly do another class with you.
Cheers
Lynda
Pam,
The evil part of me hopes the office girl is still stuck in an office … but in reality hopefully she grew up, and maybe discovered that being a housewife requires more skills than an office worker will ever have, including the paperwork and people skills!
Pam
You are such a great talent. You are a great Mom, teacher, quilter, writer, photographer and much more. I always enjoy your blogs. I will never forget what a great teacher and personality you are.
Hugs
Glenda, thank you for your wonderful comments. Its so nice having friends like you. thank you.
Pam I have been following you online now for many years; you have been an inspiration to me in my private life and quilting world. Your ups and downs you have shared , your despair and your joy has made me think how lucky I am. Thank you for sharing it has made me think out side the box many a time. Take care and travel safe Glenda
I had something similar happen to me over 15 years ago at a quilt show. I stopped at a booth where an award winning quilter was demonstrating a tool she had designed. She asked if anyone would like to try it. I had never tried free motion quilting before. I was a complete novice. But I adored her and wanted to try. When I sat down along with another girl who obviously had quilted before, the quilter made me feel inadequate. Then turned around and gushed over the other girl. I was hurt and embarrassed. Obviously, she just wanted to sell her product. But I have remembered that to this day.
Karen, I know how you feel. People tell us to grow up and forget it… but there are just a few things that I will never forget and I feel your pain.
Thanks for the boost. Sometimes we are so critical and doubt ourselves because we fall into a role or category someone has put us in.
Follow your heart and do what feels good to you is the best advice.
That teacher should have given more constructive advice.
I took a similar class and we all laid our fabrics out. The teacher went around and said positive things. She did in a nice way say ” this is a nice group of fabrics, if you took this out and tried this color ( one she borrowed from my neighbor) it ties these together better. What do you think, like it?”
Who makes these rules anyway? In this time in the world of quilting I guess you can say anything goes, especially if you like it? We are really quilting for ourselves and making ourselves happy, aren’t we?
I agree, who does make the rules? I consider them to be an urban myth.
Thank you – that’s all xx
I am so glad you didn’t let those comments stop you from going on to be the woman you have become! I love reading your blog and when I see your name in my inbox I jump right to reading what you have provided us with that day.
BRAVO!!!!!!!
Love your story- thanks for expressing it so well – I stayed home a few years and then worked in nursing while raising kids staying so busy that my sewing was for necessity not for fun or creativity. Now that children are grown, I feel the freedom to garden, quilt, travel, explore ideas I long left behind. I too was a wall flower but now make my own flowers, in dirt and on fabric. Appreciate you – just completed Geraldine from Houston 2016 – she is beautiful!!
I bet I know who that teacher was. I had a similar experience with her at a class. So glad you persevered. You have to wonder how many other people gave up.
If it is the same teacher the real shame of it is that she is so knowledgeable about quilting, thread, fabric, etc. She has so much to share but her attitude puts people off.